September 14, 2004

it's time

I've been so caught up in Damian's kindergarten transition (that stress, while not completely over, has subsided) as well as the enormous project I alluded to a few weeks ago, I've been so engulfed with all of that, I've had little to nothing left over for myself.

I need that time now. I need to organize my small home office post painting project. I need to get back into an exercise regimen, if not for my weight loss efforts, then for my sanity (oh, the endorphin rush) and my stamina (oh, the muscle tone, oh the blood rush).

But mostly I need to write. How I need to write. Not writing fiction feels like being deprived of REM sleep. No dream time. Something's wrong in my life, in my head, in my self. I'm not wholly me if I'm not awake-dreaming words and worlds. I crave that. Need it. Now.

Dan says I should multitask more. He's right. I have three solid hours every weekday now, plus a couple of extra hours once floor time services kick back in full-bore. Surely I can write, exercise, write, organize my office, write, make phone calls (too many calls, much coordinating still on the school front), write. Live.

We shall see. Time is elastic but not always the way you expect. But this is a new life, a new set of daily rituals. A short drive instead of a long one, yes, but a short day instead of a long one too. A more grown-up child. A different life, the kindergarten year. My schedule adjusts. More than adjusts, it alters. Shifts. My life no longer stretched across town, now foreshortened into afternoons alone. We shall see. I'm ready. Tomorrow, I write.

Posted by Tamar at September 14, 2004 10:20 PM