January 23, 2008

Marry me

Tamar’s (and my) friend Lori has a fascinating, well written article published in Time Magazine! It’s worth a read!

It talks about the benefits of a good marriage. The chemical effects in the brain that explain the longer life, better health of happily married couples. They have proof now of how it works (better read the article—it’s complicated).

I know my dad’s life was extended by many years when met Gertrude and had a happy, twenty-five year marriage. After my mother died, my dad’s grief was overwhelming him, painful for him, painful to see. I wouldn’t say my parents’ marriage was a happy one, but it was good, especially in the later years when they could enjoy each other without the pressures of raising children. They did care about each other. They had a commitment to their marriage but my mother was more sociable and wanted more excitement in her life. My dad liked to build things in his spare time—cabinets, violins, tool sheds. My mother called herself a basement widow.

With Gertrude, my dad did all the things my mother would have liked to do—travel, restaurants, social engagements. The only bad year my dad and Gertrude had was when he wanted her to retire. She resented it. Said, “What am I going to do, clean out the closets every day?”

They had a busy, adventurous life. My dad lived until he was ninety, a very happy man.

Posted by leya at January 23, 2008 07:32 PM

Thanks, Leya! Glad you enjoyed the article!

And it does indeed sound like Gertrude was good for your dad...and likely vice versa.

Posted by: Lori at January 24, 2008 03:50 AM