Just after “talking” to Toni about her situation (where a man with cerebral palsy was inappropriately demanding of her time), I run into a somewhat similar problem with a student yesterday. This time the three-legged puppy, the“handicap,” was pressure from the parents for the student to get “A’s” or they wouldn’t continue to fund her education. And she knows, as do I, that she doesn’t deserve an A. She was really heartbroken, in tears, totally overwhelmed with terror about her parents reaction when I talked to her yesterday. Yet it would be inappropriate of me to bend to the pressure to give her an inflated mark just to placate her parents. Her work is good, it shows promise, she works hard, she still has a lot to learn.
One of the harder parts of talking to this student was seeing how much she was striving to please her parents, a pressure that was not allowing her to experience school as a learning process. Nor did it let her see her strong points separate from her parents expectations. (Her parents are both artists with what seems to be rigid standards of what is good art.) The best I can do for her is to write a narrative evaluation that clearly describes her assets and give her an appropriate grade for her achievements.
When I got home, I turned on my computer to find an email from someone I hadn’t spoken to (in any form) since last October, no reason to have communicated, no strong friendship that I knew about, scolding me for not calling months ago. Out of the blue. Sorry, I’m not up for being bullied today.
Meanwhile, the day was stressful enough that I turned on the TV in the evening to watch a very stupid “reality” program, For Love or Money. I hadn’t seen it before (and won’t look for it again!) so I don’t know what the ongoing narrative is, but it really was a dumb show. First the young lady was dumb, thinking she was looking for love yet trying to manipulate (with hugs and kisses and calculated flirtatious behavior) every man to fall in love with her so she could get a shot at a million dollars. And the three men left for her to choose as the “lucky” one, were dumb for (frankly, from my point of view) being there. With a million dollars at stake, how could love flourish? And no one seemed to talk about anything of significance. It was really dumb.
So everyone is looking for love, from parents, from a grade at school, from a fantasy, from a relationship, from a million dollars. There are definitely better ways to find it. I think I’ll get a puppy. And train it where to pee.