March 04, 2004

The Last Good Painting

Sometimes I think I have painted my last good painting. That a painting is so good I cannot possibly do anything as good or better. Even though I work on the same idea, use the same marks, images over and over, look at the same thing from many points of view, standing still, repeating myself, does not appeal. I want to see progress of some kind. I hear in my head: “There’s nothing new under the sun” yet ………..So what am I trying to do, something new for the sake of new, something better for the feeling that life continues? Mostly it is the ability, chance to challenge myself.

When I went down in my studio this morning I felt like I might never be able to fulfill my commitments, that everything I had started would never come together. It felt very discouraging. Things weren’t drying as fast as I had expected. Images were not coming out. Everything was at a starting point but the bell hadn’t rung. So instead of racing to the finish point, I just kept plodding along. By the end of a few hours I could actually see progress, something happening. Maybe even another good painting. I am stubborn, persistent, and there is tomorrow. And I never lose sight that today it is a privilege to be doing this.

Posted by leya at March 4, 2004 01:53 PM