an omen?

This will probably surprise you, but I believe in omens. Not that things happen for the sole purpose of sending signals to us, but that this is a side effect, as it were, a bonus.

Which is to say:

When the baby bird died last week, I felt deeply sad. I couldn’t shake it and I didn’t know why. It felt like more than that small vulnerable thing, that maybe it had to do with another small vulnerable being in my life. A few days later the school shit started to accumulate, hurtling toward the proverbial fan.

Which is to say:

About a month ago, my watch disappeared. It was a birthday present from Dan. It’s gold and silver and smooth and elegant and I love it. I looked through my daypack, looked through my other bag, looked through my pockets, looked through my daypack again, swept my hand under the sofa, took apart the cushions, did the same to the armchair, moved my nightstand and the dresser too, crawled under my bed. Found scraps of paper. Rubber bands. Tumbleweed-sized furballs. Some stray rubber frogs. No watch.

The past few day I’ve been dismantling my office, preparing to finally strip down the hideous disco-glitter acoustic ceiling. This morning I walked through, laying down the plastic drop cloth. Something caught my eye in the west window. There on the ledge, behind the lowest glass louver, were several Bob beginning reader books. Behind them, my watch.

I’m in a good mood tonight. I have no reason to be, but I am. Maybe it’s just the endorphins from a day of hard muscle work (scraping that stuff off the ceiling, grunting and ducking falling debris). But maybe it’s something else. After all, I have my watch back. Things are bound to get better now.

Posted by Tamar at May 25, 2004 09:13 PM