April 22, 2004

the party conundrum

Hereís the irony: for years, practically since Damian was born, I hated the fact that an invitation to a party, a play, any evening event, had to be answered with a regret instead of a Yes! and a See you there! Because Damian was too young and then he was too sensitive, too needing of our attention, too afraid, with us the only surety in his life. And so we mostly stayed home and we certainly came home before his bedtime. After a while Ė a long while Ė he got better, more confident, and he could probably handle the stress of a baby sitter at bedtime with equanimity but then we had no baby sitter. And so if Dan was invited to a wrap party, a production holiday party, a work gathering, and needed to go cement relationships, I inevitably stayed home with the kid. And I hated that and resented it and felt like the mommy with no other life.

Well, guess what? Tonight weíre going out to the wrap party for Danís show. And a baby sitter is coming, the same one who came Saturday night when we went out to dinner. Sheís sweet and kind and Damian knows her from school. I trust her and I think he does too. So now itís okay to go out and probably even okay to have her put him to bed, though Iím still a tad nervous about that part.

So finally I get to go out like a grownup to a party. And I donít want to. I donít really know anyone, I donít really have anything to say, nobody cares about me. Iíll just be a wallflower and ogle the showís stars, maybe smile at the producers. Oh, Iíll get to meet Danís bosses and coworkers, put faces and personas to his work talk, and that makes it worthwhile. But if I had my druthers? I think Iíd stay home and cuddle with my kid. After all the buildup of those years without the option, I forgot that I donít really like this kind of party.

See what I mean about irony?

Posted by Tamar at April 22, 2004 06:15 PM

I understand that one.
When my daughter was small ~ we finally (after 4 years) took a day ~ (not even overnight) left her with a sitter and went for a "foliage drive" ~~ after 2 hours we were so miserable with concern (and the awkwardness of being away from her) we had a quick lunch and went to pick up the kid!

Posted by: Nancy at April 22, 2004 08:25 PM

P.S. - forgot to say have a good time!

Posted by: N~ at April 22, 2004 08:25 PM

I hope you had a great time! I've been to one wrap party and it was an amazing experience for someone like myself who was just "a girl who had a web site." Glad to hear the season has ended successfully. I hope you all enjoy the hiatus.

Posted by: Rachel at April 23, 2004 07:11 AM

I do hope you post a follow-up so we all know how it was. My guess is there'd be less personal ego-investment/insecurity -- and as a result, a great deal more fun. But we'll never know, unless/until you tell us.

Posted by: Chris at April 23, 2004 05:42 PM

good post, i forwarded it to my friends

Posted by: rent games at November 29, 2004 09:10 AM